While riding my bike, I became thirsty. I remembered the punch mama made and I went upstairs to get a drink. She would make it with lemons and sliced oranges. I use to love to swirl the frosty glass in a circular motion and hear the sound of the large ice cubes as they hit the glass…so mouth watering, cool and refreshing. Now that dad was gone, she’d picked up some of her motherly ways again…with baking and setting the table, just like old times.
It was about noon, I rushed upstairs to my apartment, opened the screen door and the big door was locked. That was weird because mom kept the door unlocked when we would play outside. So I began to knock on the door and call her, “Ma ! I’m thirsty! Open up!” I called several times. I then heard a loud thump from the other side of the door, like someone had run into it. I heard my mom screaming and crying at the same time, “Please stop! Oh God Help! Help me!” I ran to the window which was on the left side of the door. I pressed my left cheek against it so that I can try and see her from the corner of my eye…through the crack of the security bars and hanging window shade. Oh my God!…it was my dad in there beating her like a punching bag in her midsection, one blow after another, like a mad man! My Dad was at least 5′ 8″ 260 lbs., my mom about 5′ 5″ 170 lbs., nine months pregnant…no match at all.
I couldn’t scream or shout because I started to shake out of control. Even if I’d asked for help, no one would because they feared him. So I stayed in the doorway while crying in a fetal position, helplessly listening to my mom’s excruciating cry for help. I listened to her wounded heart begged to be saved from the hands of the man, who stole her heart and introduced her to his isolated dark and morbid world; “My First Perception of A Man.”
As I sat there between the doors, shaking and gripping my stomach, I listened to my mom’s moans slowly fade out. I realized it was finally over. I could hear her faint voice moaning, crying and praying. I visualized my mom, sliding down into the fetal position just as I was on the other side of the door…and there we were, both trapped in a world that appeared to be unable to escape. I placed the palms of my hands on the door, along with my cheek. I closed my tearful eyes and in my mind, I held her and rocked her in my arms while whispering in her ear, “If I was the mom, I would take you away.”
I didn’t understand this type of love. I couldn’t help but wonder, would he love me this way one day? I made myself a promise to always do the right thing and never upset him. I never wanted to feel that type of love. (The seed of abuse had now mentally been planted)
Later that night, my mom gave birth to a ten-pound baby boy. It was the happiest but the saddest day of my life. I couldn’t understand why a gracious God from Heaven would let a beautiful miracle be born in a place called “Hell.”
http://amzn.to/1LWCQCl ” A BLACK ROSE THRIVED”
AUTHOR ROCHELLE RICHEY ©2016
#BookBubble http://bit.ly/1px5Jd5 “BEHIND CLOSED DOORS” EXCERPT FROM “A BLACK ROSE THRIVED”
I’ve finally reached the beginning of the end of raging storms that have partnered with me for many years…escaping a tormented childhood that led to a dysfunctional development of teenage years, which concluded with an abusive marriage with a man I thought was the love of my life. I instantly became a single mom and was introduced to years of evictions, repossessions, illnesses. hardships and a bad choice in men. Through it all, I’ve learned humility, love, perseverance, happiness, forgiveness, loyalty and a great love for myself. Everything I went through made me who I am today.
” A Black Rose Thrived” will allow you to experience my highs, my lows, my pain and my growth. I decided to write my story because I realized that this was a major part of the healing process that was missing. It started as a journal and turned into a memoir.
This memoir is written in excerpts because that’s just what they are…excerpts pulled from different segments of my life. It’s written in an interesting chronological timeline order of events. My hope is that you will be encouraged, challenged and informed on issues that you may have experienced, never encountered or may have questioned. This is my Story. This is my truth.
Author and Writer
I’m the Founder of Gentle Keys Learning LAb. A Program that’s Connecting Seniors by teaching Basic Computer Skills Bridging the Gap Between Elders and Millennials through Digital Literacy. Is there an Elder in your life that can benefit from emailing letters and pictures, shopping online, face timing, ordering prescriptions, connecting with family and friends on facebook? We together can make that happen. Making life a lot simpler and less lonely.
I stopped by a friend’s office one day for business when an elderly woman walked in and asked if someone could help her fax an important document. She was so frustrated as she explained how she and her husband purchased a computer only to return it because they didn’t know how to use it. No one had time to teach them the basics…This story hit home because I’d just had a conversation with my mom who lives in Mn and returned her computer as well.
My heart broke for the woman and I thought about my mom. At this time I was in the middle of writing my first book which had my days pretty occupied. But I began to think, here I am sitting on years of computer knowledge, clearly, I can give back to my community and teach basic skills. This is when my vision was born. My passions and desires are to teach computer skills to senior citizens.
The world is becoming more dependent on computers. Digital illiteracy will soon be a disability. Computers have changed almost every facet of daily life. Teaching basic computer skills including the use of mobile media devices will help bridge the gap in the community between seniors and millennials. This new knowledge will encourage our potential scholars to get connected and enrich their lives by learning new things and increasing their satisfaction with life.
Why the name GENTLE KEYS? Because of the patience that is needed to make the scholar feel comfortable and being okay in knowing that no question is a dumb question.
This program ( partnering with NorthStar Digital Literacy Project in St. Paul, creating the first hub in Ga. https://www.digitalliteracyassessment.org/faq ) will allow scholars to get familiar with workforce development, personal growth, social change, educational and work opportunities and even something as small as working a smart phone.
I would be so grateful if you would join with me by donating funds to help start up this program so our seniors can get connected in our new world of Smart phones, Smart TV’s, Email’s, digital cars, etc, Your donation will help them to open up to new ways to communicate, new work from home opportunities, feeling a sense of value and connection to our new world. Computer Literacy is a broadly needed skill to participate in the life and work of the modern world and we must not leave our seniors behindThis is for you Mom. I love you
https://www.gofundme.com/gentlekeys Please Donate and help Bridge the Gap Between Seniors and Millennials one key stroke at a time.
NOW ON KINDLE! GET YOUR COPY TODAY!!! I’M SAVED…NOW WHAT?…
The Birth of Something New is a well penned written testimonial from the Author about her experience and journey from ” Religion to a Personal relationship with God. It is highly recommended to read her page turning four-star Memoir “A Black Rose Thrived” in order to get a full understanding of her Journey from a life of sin to a relationship with the Savoir.
empty trips to the altar. I’d awake Sunday morning after a long night
of binging and would crave for an answer, hope or freedom. I tried
many times to end my addiction but failed every time. I knew the
church had to be the answer. After all, it’s supposed to be the home
for the lost and the broken.”
with a heavy feeling of despair. Unbearable guilt and shame were the
essence of my mind and my soul. But even in my moments of despair,
there was always something very spiritual about the mornings…the sun
rising, the birds singing, the wind blowing across the ice blue skies
causing the sway of the beautiful flowers and the rich forest green
leaves…I wanted so bad to be a part of existence.
the mornings. I could always hear from a far away deep valley, echoing
echoes of each syllable of my name in a soft still voice… “Rochelle.”
I would eventually make my way to a church. No particular one,
In my ignorance, I thought any church would do.
The seat on the back pew was just right for me. I wouldn’t sing
the praise songs because of the guilt and I wouldn’t look at anyone
because of the shame. So I would sit still and wait for the altar call.
My mind would race back and forth with depressing thoughts
of the years, months, weeks, days and hours prior to the altar call.
the morning prayer, the reading of scriptures, the songs, and the
testimonies. I’d even sit patiently through the shouting or the praise
break and the sermon…waiting on the altar call.
With all the churches that I’d visited, and there were many, none
satisfied the hunger and thirst that I craved so much for freedom.
Freedom from my drug addiction, the pain of rejection, isolation and
building funds, gossip, drama, rules, competitions, and hypocrisy. I
was looking for hope in churches that Christ had no invitation to. I
was looking for Him in a Church, a building…when all I had to do
was seek him.
“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find;
knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks
receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it
will be opened.”
got was the right-hand fellowship hand shake from the happy
congregation, a clip board of forms to fill out, rules and regulations
and what was expected of me.
TOO OFTEN WE HEAR: “HE MAY PUT HIS HANDS ON ME BUT HE IS A REALLY GOOD FATHER, I DON’T WANT TO TAKE THEIR FATHER AWAY FROM THEM”
HE’S GIVING THEM A FALSE PERCEPTION OF WHAT A MAN IS AND HOW A MAN LOVES…HOW HE HANDLES CONFLICT AND EMOTIONS. SEEING THIS AS A CHILD BECOMES THE NORM AS AN ADULT.
DATING ADVICE FROM THE BRONZE GODDESS
Humiliating or embarrassing you.
- Constant put-downs.
- Refusing to communicate.
- Ignoring or excluding you.
- Extramarital affairs.
- Provocative behavior with opposite sex.
- Use of sarcasm and unpleasant tone of voice.
- Unreasonable jealousy.
- Extreme moodiness.
- Mean jokes or constantly making fun of you.
- Saying “I love you but…”
- Saying things like “If you don’t _____, I will_____.”
- Domination and control.
- Withdrawal of affection.
- Guilt trips.
- Making everything your fault.
- Isolating you from friends and family.
- Using money to control.
- Constant calling or texting when you are not with him/her.
- Threatening to commit suicide if you leave.
It is important to remember is that it is absolutely not your fault. Abusers are expert manipulators with a knack for getting you to believe that the way you are being treated is your fault. These people know that everyone has insecurities, and they use those insecurities against you.
Abusers can convince you that you do not deserve better treatment or that they are treating you this way to “help” you. Some abusers even act quite charming and nice in public so that others have a good impression of them. In private is a different story, which is also quite baffling.
If you see yourself in these words, know that there is little hope for your relationship to improve. It would take a monumental amount of insight and motivation for the abuser to change and unfortunately, this is rarely the case. If you are in an abusive relationship, I urge you to get out and with professional help if needed. Often the first step in leaving the abuser is obtaining counseling just to rebuild your esteem so that you can leave. I particularly want you to know that you may “love” this person, but that they do not “love” you or respect you. I assure you that in time you will get over this person if you break it off. You will be making the right decision … no looking back.
This guest article originally appeared on YourTango.com: 21 Signs You’re In An Emotionally Abuse